c'est moi

I think that life is about getting hurt. But if you can avoid certain types of pain, why wouldn’t you? I’m choosing to try and figure out how to not develop feelings for any guy ever again. I think this concept is a crucial facet in accepting singlehood. At the same time, I am only human and therefore subject to human error. I cannot entirely control everything about myself. And that is exactly what I feel like my life lacks; control. I want to be in charge of anything and everything that happens to me, but some things happen and there’s just nothing one can do about those things. Getting your heart broken is, as I’ve come to believe, controllable. I choose to close off. I want to reach a point where I don’t even look at a man and think anything is attractive or captivating about him. I want to be stone cold. I think morals attempt to teach humans to not be unfeeling or refuse to open up emotionally, but psychologically it makes plenty of sense to me why we put up walls around people. If you don’t let anyone breach the barrier, there’s no way they can cause you pain, whether they intended to do so or not.